NEW HOPE PCA

Eustis, FL

The Parenting Adventure

by Filed Under: Articles, Look on the Bright Side

Parenting is an adventure. I should probably stop there, but for the sake of saying a bunch of dumb stuff to show how little I know about parenting, I will march on.

              I do believe now more than ever we should have a parenting class that is required for all the world. But, I qualify that with it probably wouldn’t do any good except to make some of us older parents feel good. “Well, at least they knew what they were getting into before that baby got here,” we could tell them.

              In all seriousness though, I think it is valuable to at least read a book or talk to your parent, grandparents, neighbors anyone that has raised 1 or more children would be a valuable resource for new to be parents. However in saying that I understand and realize that every single family is their own, and every single family will do it their way, much to the chagrin of in-laws and grandparents everywhere.

              Parenting is an adventure you and your spouse take on whenever you have children. And all adventures will be yours and yours only for the most part. You get to decide discipline, education, entertainment, medicine, activities, church, diet, exercise and so much more.

              As parents of two personal children, and many more via our church youth group and my wife being a public school teacher where we “parent” from afar many students over the years, we have learned so much and yet feel like there is so much we just don’t know.

              The problem is, “There is no formula.” Sure you may be the best parents in the world and you may have had the best kid(s) in the world and to this day all has been roses and sunshine. But what you did and how you did it worked for you. Period. It isn’t a formula that will work for someone else. I’m sure there are thousands maybe millions of people who would argue this point. And I’m not even including the ones that write parenting books that every parent swears by year after year. Some trends go and some trends stay in parenting but one thing is always true, parenting is an adventure, one that goes on and on until you are no longer here or your child is no longer here.

              I must also confess that the good Lord has blessed us with two pretty good kids and they have had their share of battles and ups and downs in life, but for all things considered they are becoming little adult humans just fine. And my wife and I give all credit to Jesus. We often have said we need to do this or that, we need to be better at x, y and z in raising the kids and somehow, someway they both still talk to us and we are all able to live together, at least for now.

              There are so many tough decisions and hard decisions and unknown decisions in parenting. Being firm on a hard no. Not being too excited on a easy yes. Knowing when to give them a cell phone, or computer or car or anything? Life comes at us parents so fast and sometimes we just enter survival mode. T-ball, ballet, volleyball, horse riding and church plus a meal somewhere all in the same day, oh and school and chores and whew if you are a parent you understand. Oh yeah and that job thing, learning to work and parent is truly an adventure and then your kids become part of your work, like this teacher and preacher it is another whole adventure.

              If nothing else parenting helps you enjoy and understand and want to make right all the wrongs and times you have disobeyed the 5th commandment.  Deuteronomy 5:16 “ ‘Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. “ [1] Parenting teaches you to appreciate your own parents and what you put them through.

              So how do you learn to enjoy your adventure in parenting? Great question! I think you have to see your role as parent as a calling from God to truly enjoy parenting. I’m not saying everyday is going to be happy go lucky and fun, but even the hard days, the really hard days, you can enjoy if you know that God has given you this child to love, to pray for, to protect, to provide for and to cry with, laugh with, bond with and even enjoy life with, it is then that you can start to enjoy your adventure.

              No matter what turn your adventure has in store, a broken bone, a failed test, a huge lie uncovered, broken heart, jail, an awful medical diagnosis, not making a team or a friend on the playground. No matter big or small, from I missed the bus to I’m pregnant as a teen to I’ve been in a wreck to I’m hungry. No matter if it is a trying day or an easy day, I threw up again and missed the toilet, or can you push me on the swing one more time, your adventure will be yours, it will have pain, it will have joy, learn to enjoy both.

              Parenting is and adventure, let’s enjoy it.

[1] The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). (Dt 5:16). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.

What is your Greatest Fear?

by Filed Under: Articles, Look on the Bright Side

What’s your greatest fear? Maybe for all you archery hunters it is arrowing a big deer just a bit back and not knowing if you will recover it. Maybe for you fantasy football fan it is your biggest point gainer to get injured or under perform. Maybe for you parents it is for your kids to do something that would bring embarrassment to the family. Maybe it is getting laid off from work. Whatever your greatest fear is, I’m sure it isn’t trivial to you.

Fear really is an idol of the heart.

That went deep fast, but it is true isn’t it? Fear tries to trap us, it tries to define us, it tries to scare us into doing what it wants and not what is best. Fear is an idol we often bow down and serve because we aren’t sure people will like the truth or that we can handle the truth, so we run to fear and do something stupid out of respect for fear.

We feel like fear will be easier, more comforting, less harsh. We are wrong to feel that way. A contemporary Christian song out has a line in it that says, “fear is a liar.” We would be more right to look at fear this way.

Here is the solution to fear. It starts in realizing that God loves you and admitting that you struggle with fear and trusting that His love can conquer your fear.

We all want to be known. But we have a couple fears that are born out of this want.

Just look at the world today, well first you’d have to look up from your cell phone. Take a look around, look at how many people are looking down at their phones. They are wanting to be known. Many of us turn to social media, did so and so like my post, did so and so comment on my comment, in order to be known. I’m guilty too.

We also look to perform well, or dress well, or speak well, or to be well educated so others will take note of who we are. We like to put labels on ourselves and put adjectives before our accomplishments, we chase after accolades from our spouses, children, co-workers and friends and other community acquaintances.

Here is the truth about being known, We all want to be known, but we are fearful to let anyone truly know us. Why? Because to be known and to be rejected is well, almost unbearable. To be unknown and not be noticed is lonely and hard to understand.  To be fully known, warts and all, bad life decisions and all, successes and failures, good times and bad times, private faults and personal thoughts and yet still loved is quite unthinkable, outside of the love of a faithful spouse or God.

“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.”

― Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God

God calls the church his bride. He knows her. He knows her fears, he knows her tears, he knows her mistakes, he came not to condemn her but to rescue her and save her. He took her sins and bore them for her, so that she might be set free from the fear of penalty and payment for her sin. Jesus removed the penalty of sin, death, and he promises one day to remove the presence of sin from her life. Jesus loves the church even though he fully knows her faults.

We can cast off our fears on Jesus. He isn’t afraid and he doesn’t want us to be either. One of the most common commands Jesus gave while on earth was Do not fear, do not be afraid. Why? Because he knew us. He knew we would need to be reminded.

Jesus knows what scares you, you can’t hide from him, he knows what terrifies you, call out to Him, He will rescue you. There isn’t anything that you can do today to make God love you less, and there isn’t anything you can do today to make God love you more, Psalm 86 and Psalm 136 talk about God’s love for us being steadfast. That is unending, unchanging, love, a love that will not cease to be.

If you want to be at peace, if you want to live in a world where you can face your fears with the truth, if you want to live a life with purpose and meaning and do all you do for the glory of God, rejoicing and reveling in being able to overcome your fear because you know the truth then hear God’s call today. Understand how much you need him, believe that what he says in John 14:6 is true, “I am the way, the truth and the life and no one comes to Father except through me.” Jesus knows you, and loves you, decide to be known by God and to accept His love for you today. Let His love overwhelm you, produce an awe in you for Him that leads to a life of worship. Fear not, you are loved.

by David Kelly